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Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Balance
Here's how my week is going to play out. Bear with me, there's a point to this.

Monday: Got up at 7:30, left house at 8:10, worked from 8:30 to 5:30, got home at 6, ate dinner, talked to husband & dogs, left at 7:45 for yoga class, return home at 9:20, made some sleepytime tea, washed face (CRAP, huge pimple forming on forehead), brushed teeth, got in bed at 10, lights off at 10:30.
Today: Got up at 7:15, left house at 8:04, went to bank, work from 8:30 to 5:30, attorney is bringing down his kids to my cube, I will drive them to their house where I will babysit until about 9:30, drive home, wash face, brush teeth, get into bed.
Tomorrow: See Monday.
Thursday: See Tuesday.
Friday: Get up at 7:20, drive to work, work from 8:30 to 5:30, take bike to bike shop to get bike properly fitted to my short-legged body. Go home, eat dinner, watch movie, get in bed by 10:30. Saturday: Wake up at 8:30. Eat big breakfast, wash face, stretch. Drive up to Cedar Park, do an hour/hour-and-a-half training bike ride at 11, drive home, shower, get pedicure with MIL (she offered it up as a Valentine's Day treat, so I accepted). Go home and get dolled up, attend husband's best childhood friend's wedding.
Sunday: Selling jewelry at an all day craft fair/market.

So here's my question. When the hell am I supposed to do laundry, clean my house, do yardwork or go back to school if I want to? Or have kids if I so choose? Does it mean that I have to give up doing things that I love like making jewelry or riding my bike? Am I supposed to spend my Friday nights doing all the things I don't have time for during the week? I don't get how women have time to have a life, a husband, kids and a full time job. I just don't see how there are enough hours in the day. I already don't spend enough time with the dogs or my husband. I always hear about this elusive thing called "balance", but I can't seem to find it. I always feel like something is suffering, the house, the dogs, my body, my relationships. How do people do it? HOW DO THEY DO IT??? If I didn't have my husband, I would be living in a house of filth covered in a layer of pet hair, dirty clothes and old Lean Cuisine boxes. Plus, then there are the women who LOOK perfect in addition to having kids and jobs. I'm lucky if my hair gets dried in the mornings. WHO ARE THESE WOMEN? I DON'T EVEN HAVE KIDS and I'm overwhelmed. It's days like today that it's a wonder I don't go postal.


24 Comments:

Blogger Isabel said...

Oh, I feel your pain. Life gets WAY too busy.

I am forever asking ladies with kids how they do.it.all. Because I can hardly take care of myself (and hubby)...let alone any kids.

Good luck.

Blogger Elisette said...

I don't know :) You do give up some things, like I haven't been to the gym nearly as often as I would like, but then you figure out ways to take the kids with you (kid could be with you while babysitting, and talk about TRAINING if you had a bike trailer on your bike. You'd be STRONG!) Right now I'm teaching my one year old how to put clothes in the dryer. He thinks it's a game. :)

Blogger Lucky Lum said...

Good question girl!
Th eonly reason I have time for laundry, cleaning house...is because I'm home with the kids. (And I only get those things done when they're napping)
Fuck it, you get a maid for all those other things!
And once the kids get old enough you give them chores to help out around the house.

I am totally in the same boat. I don't even have the job outside the home to contend with but at 10 each night I hit a damn wall. Where a child shall fit in this mess is a mystery. If you receive some insight, please share it, because I am very curious myself.

Blogger Lori said...

If somebody can figure this our for me I'd be eternally gratefull, cuz I haven't figured it out in 16 years. OK maybe more like 12, when I had #2.

For me I get them to school, go to work, go or shuttle them to sports practices. Feed them. Try to help those who need it with their homework

Kim comes home late 8-ish, so I'm often eating dinner 8 or 9 ish.

In our case, it's the house that suffers. Sunday is the big laundry day. I try to do stuff during the week. Saturday is usually for fun. Sunday's the house day.

Something always has to give, or you have to lighten your standards. I always freaked about our house when my family came over. One day my Mom said "You've got 3 kids, a full time job, lots of kids activities. You can't expect to have your house all perfect and organized"

Blogger Football Widow said...

There is no such thing as balance. I've learned that I have to have a different of balance or perfect. There are some weeks that I don't get everything done. You eventually find time to do the things you want like making jewelery, etc. My hubby helps with the laundry and stuff so that and the fact that I have a flexible job helps too. I have found that I sleep less since I've had a kid if I want to get everything done I want to get done. Don't worry, it always finds a way to work itself out.

Blogger Lisa said...

You do end up giving up things.... Like Elisette said, you shorten your workouts or don't go as often. And I'm guessing that your boss probably wouldn't be asking you to take care of his/her kids in that case because he/she would know you've got a full plate already.

You tend to do alot of "divide and conquor" with the hubby. You may make dinner, you all eat, then as you clean up, hubby gives the kids a bath and they brush teeth.

I don't know how working moms do it either. If I were one, I'd have a cleaning lady and a laundry service! I stay at home and my house is still NEVER as clean as I'd like it to be. I don't even watch tv at night. There seems to be no time.

Also, you get used to functioning on alot less sleep. And before you get pregnant, make sure the hubby knows he will have to help around the house after baby comes.

Blogger The Kept Woman said...

Oh no, here's the deal.

You do what you can.

I, for example, waste a good amount of my free-time (when the kids nap) on the internet when I should be cleaning, doing laundry, etc. Seriously though, my house is picked up nightly, but I wouldn't attempt to pass a white glove test...ever. And I'm home full time.

If I worked outside the home I'd lose my mind. I mean what's left of it anyway.

Blogger Carrie said...

I'm no help here and have often wondered the same thing. I keep coming back to 'maid' as a good answer... :)

Blogger pack of 2 said...

I feel the same way & also in my job.
At work I have two restaurants that I am supposed to spend 36 hours a week in EACH (consulting & managing them) ...and a third restaurant that I am supposed to be in 5 hours a week...HOW MANY PEOPLE DO THEY THINK I AM???

If it weren't for Angie...nothing would get done around the house.

Shelly

Blogger Kether said...

I remember one day when Liam was brand new thinking "Will I ever leave my family room again?"
You kind of adjust your life around it, you give up some things, let some things slide more than you'd like, go to bed later or get up earlier. But, the good news is that I am either able to do the things I like, or don't care anymore that I can't.

Blogger Kether said...

I remember one day when Liam was brand new thinking "Will I ever leave my family room again?"
You kind of adjust your life around it, you give up some things, let some things slide more than you'd like, go to bed later or get up earlier. But, the good news is that I am either able to do the things I like, or don't care anymore that I can't.

Blogger Cara said...

Fisrt off, I certainly don't get 9 hours of sleep a night. I usually get 8 but that's only if the baby is willing to go to bed around 10:30 or so.

For house cleaning I do the flylady.net thing - just 15 min. at a time and an hour on Monday.

I'm not getting to walk as much as I would like, but that's certainly something I can do with the baby. So maybe you wouldn't get to take yoga but you could find something else where a kid can be included.

It's certainly not easy, but you manage.

Blogger TBG said...

Oh Nappy I so feel you! I just went part time at work but am even busier than before now that i go to school on my off days I used to go to school at night after work. There is just never enough time!

Let me know the secret when you figure it out about all the put together women!

Blogger Norman said...

I work full time, have 3 kids ages 1, 4, and 7, and I go to college part time. How do I do it?

I rely BIGTIME on my mom for help, and my house is kinda messy. (Not filthy messy, but toys scattered around messy) Weekends are my time to try to catch up with the housework, but we end up just playing with the kids since that's more fun!

Norman!

Blogger Kami said...

Yeah. What you said.

Blogger Spikey1 said...

Don't ask me!!

Blogger Jodes said...

yeah, I feel ya...I have 2 kids...

Blogger Lori said...

I often ask myself the same question. Here's what I think:

1. If you have kids, you're getting up earlier -- way earlier -- than 7:15 a.m. Especially with babies and younger kids.
2. Does the Rock Star pitch in for household chores? If Brian didn't do his fair share of laundry, taking out the trash, cleaning the kitty litter, and doing the dishes, I'd go insane. It would just never get done.

Those are my thoughts for now. I have to run to a meeting. BBL.

Blogger aka_Meritt said...

This is where you need to put on your SuperWoman costume. Ya wanna borrow mine? ;)

Blogger Carrie said...

Related to your comment on my site...

In fact she does, we used to call her 'Nachos' :) Such a small world sometimes. :)

Blogger Caroline said...

Wow..what a week. Sounds like you will need a vacation or at least a few days off next week.

Blogger Bradley Egel said...

I always feel like this...balancing between what I need to do and what I actually physically and mentally can get done :)

I hope...you are getting some of it done :)

Bradley
The Egel Nest

Blogger Lilah Mum said...

I believe they are faking it well. Some better than others. Maybe there are actually some super heros out there, but I've accepted that I'm not one of them. (An attorney you work with who has the initials AG may actually be one). I feel like I waste every minute, even when I'm doing something that needs to be done. My advice is to NOT have kids until you feel you can have that balance or you don't mind giving some stuff up. Maybe it justs works out for some people - they make it work - but it really hasn't for me. Not yet anyway.

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