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Friday, October 28, 2005
Letter to my Dear Husband
Dear My Love-

You do so many wonderful things for me. You scoop the poop in the litterboxes 99.99% of time, you unload the dishwasher 98.76% of the time, you clean up animal messes 97.99% of the time, and you mow the lawn and take out the trash 100% of the time. You tell me I'm beautiful and hot and you like playing Scrabble with me. You are sweet. I know this and I love you, I really do. (Plus you're not too shabby in the looks department).

That being said, when we make plans to have a nice dinner together on a Friday night, please don't eat lunch at 2 p.m. in the afternoon. And when I call you at 5:30 as I'm leaving work (note: starving because I ate lunch at noon knowing we were having dinner together) to figure out where we are going for dinner, do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT casually tell me that you are not hungry and probably won't be because you ATE AT TWO and no longer want to eat dinner at a normal hour. This will make me angry resulting in a surge of road rage in the horrible Austin traffic making the 30 minute, six mile drive from work to home SEEM LIKE AGES BECAUSE I'M FUCKING STARVING AND WAS PLANNING ON EATING PASTA AND DRINKING A GLASS OF WINE. I will probably give at least one person the finger and will yell alone in my empty car when some asshole cuts me off in stop-and-go traffic.

Take note, this could have been the reason for the quite frosty shoulder you felt when I got home from my lovely afternoon stuck in traffic.

I think I've made myself clear. So where are you taking me for dinner tomorrow night?

Love,
Your Loving Nap Queen

*******************************************************

Update, Saturday Morning: After a great night of sleep and coffee brought to me in bed my my darling husband, all is right in the world. Can you tell I get cranky when I'm hungry?


12 Comments:

Blogger aka_Meritt said...

I'm still stuck on the first paragraph...

jealousy.

;)

I love it. Men are just DENSE.

Anonymous Adrienne said...

Oh man.

That's great. I just read it out loud to my man and said: "See, women don't LIKE to eat dinner while their man watches them and talks about the great middle-of-the-afternoon pizza he ate."

He

Blogger Kami said...

That shit pisses me off. My hubs does the same crap!

Blogger Tammy said...

Honey, I act like that even when I'm not hungry and irritated with the hubs!

But I do know what you're talking about. Sometimes, they just don't get it.

Blogger Melissa2Kidz said...

Wow that was too funny, lol!!!

Blogger momyblogR said...

See, what is THAT. It just sucks to have your plans shot, especially when you have been thinking about most all day.

I have cooked incredible dinners only to have Honey come hone and say the very same thing. I feel like whipping the entire meal at him. ugh!

Blogger suburban mom said...

Oh my. I can so relate.

I swear. Anytime we have "nice" dinner plans my husband says he feels sick to his stomach. Right before we are supposed to leave. Ugh!

Blogger Christine said...

The problem really isn't that he ate late...it was that he didn't know enough not to mention it and go anyway.
MEN!

Blogger Isabel said...

Oh my gosh...I would have been so upset. When I am hungry, I could kill actual people I love to get some food!!

Blogger roxie said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Blogger roxie said...

I'm glad he screwed up, I got to have a friday night dinner date with my favorite sister :)

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