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Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Judgy McJudgerson
My husband has adopted many cute names for me, and this weekend he added a new one to the list. I'm not sure how I feel about it.

It all started when we were at the outdoor wedding on Saturday, and it was FREEZING. I saw a woman in her 20s and wearing open toed, strappy sandals with thick grandma hose. Now I was taught from a young age that open toed shoes and hose do not mix. Ever. (Although I did hear Issac Mizrahi (sp?) tell someone on his show to wear hose with open toed shoes, and I was HORRIFIED people! H-O-R-R-I-F-I-E-D!)

Okay, so back to the point.

I have a very expressive face and often make faces without realizing it. It's something I need to work on. I apparently made a face whilst looking at the shoe/hose combo and I hear my husband say, "Judgy." Um, excuse me? Judgy? I am not a judgmental person, I merely notice interesting choices that people make and like to internally comment on them. I looked up "judgmental" in the dictionary, and I suppose by technical standards I am Judgy McJudgerson, but when I think of a judgmental person, I think of a super snatchy, bitchy woman. Like Rachel McAdams in Mean Girls. It's not as if I'm thinking to myself what a horrible person she must be for making a bad shoe choice. It's not as if I won't be friends with someone who wears something I think they shouldn't. It's not as if I'm making judgments about her personality. I'm merely thinking that I wouldn't have made that choice.

Anyhoos, after the ceremony we sauntered over to the drink area where there is a keg, a margarita machine, an igloo cooler with iced tea, and punch. Again, I must have made a face because I hear a whistle from the peanut gallery and "Juuuuudgy." What?? I made a face because the keg was almost floated. That's not being judgmental? I just think it's poor planning when your friends drink a lot and you know they're going to be drinking out of the keg before the ceremony begins (when we showed up to the wedding, everyone already had drinks in hand AT THE CEREMONY).

So here's my question. What makes a person judgmental? Does having thoughts about other's fashion choices make one judgmental? I say it makes me opinionated. Judgmental? No. Thoughts? Comments?

Note: Of course, I let my husband know that he is also judgmental about other things such as people who have trashy front yards or wear blatantly trashy clothing. He agreed with me. The other night he told me it disturbs him that so many women show their breasts on Girls Gone Wild. He said, "Don't they have any regard for their bodies or who gets to see their breasts?" He thinks it shows the sad state of our country. Gotta love him.


Blogger pack of 2 said...

I think judgemental is a person that can't be friends with a person because you don't agree with their life or whatever...even if it doesn't affect you.

Thinking someone has no style doesn't qualify as judgemental...that just qualifies as being a female...LOL


Blogger Football Widow said...

Interesting question. I am the same way as you. But I have been married long enough where I've converted my husband to think like me, so he usually points stuff out like that to me now. I think you are judgemental if you wouldn't be friends with them or talk crap about them behind their back. But just merely thinking a statement in your head to yourself isn't judgemental. Everyone has different taste. She could have been thinking something like that about what you had on. I doubt it, but you never know. For the record you do not wear hose with open toed shoes. Even the kind that say sandal toe or whatever that is.

Blogger Isabel said...

We all judge. It's just life. Don't worry about it.

(and I am SO NOT judging you for judge at the wedding...!)

Blogger Carrie said...

Well I really can't stand the hose with open toed shoes deal, so I would have made a face too. I wouldn't say you are judgemental, like pack of 2 said, you are just female. :)

Blogger suburban mom said...

Well I'm forming opionions constantly...i just notice everything. But I don't think that's bad.

Blogger Celina said...

I agree with you, too! I've been told that I'm "judgemental," too. But, I look at it like it's just my OPINION. I wouldn't talk bad about someone, or avoid them if I saw something like that. But, I probably would make a face (or side comment)! :)

Blogger Lori said...

It's hard not to be judgmental in some way, shape or form. I tend to be that way with people's appearances, too. Unless they're at the gym. Then I give people a lot more leeway, because I look like a total beast after a hard workout.

Example: I often see morbidly obese people wearing spandex biker shorts and a tank top at the mall or supermarket. I'm not saying that I'm perfect, not at all. However, I'm definitely not obese, and I STILL refuse to wear biker shorts and a tank top, because I don't consider myself thin enough to look good.

I also have those thoughts when I see 40 year old women dressing like they're still 20. Because no matter how great shape you're in, there is still such a thing as age-appropriate attire. You can absolutely look cute--sexy, even--over age 35 without resorting to wearing clothes that look like Paris Hilton's castoffs.

Sometimes I just question whether people actually think about what they put on before leaving the house.

Being judgmental is part of being human, I suppose. And it also explains why TV shows like "What Not to Wear" are so wildly popular, hmm?

Blogger aka_Meritt said...

I think we all have our issues... we all judge about something. Maybe it's just simple things like wearing hose with sandals... but maybe bigger, obvious things like the Mother out in 20 degree weather with a newborn baby in just a t-shirt or sleeper, no blanket or coat.

Or maybe it's judging how awful-behaved the 10 year old child playing at your house with your kids are.

Ya know?

Blogger Cat said...

I hate judgemental people! All sitting around passing judgement and judging and whatnot! That is so wrong! The should totally not be judging! I mean, what is up with that?! Who are they to JUDGE?!


Next time your hubby calls you "Judgy" say, "Babe, it really hurts me that you would judge me like that..." Because you know that when he calls you "Judgy," what he's really doing is passing judgement on you, and by judging you he is telling everyone he is a judger,which is really just a judgement on himself, and is that the tale he wants to tell? (/Mike Brady Voice)


Blogger TBG said...

No I dont think you are judgemental as much as opinionated,


Hello from one uncontrolable face maker to another.

We should have fun Saturday night!

Blogger Kami said...

Hmmm... What? It is not your fault that chick wore hose with open-toed shoes, man.

I just thought of an example where I did indeed judge. I saw this very overweight woman in the food line somewhere, with her VERY OVERWEIGHT TODDLER, and they had a bunch of shit food piled on their tray, and I got pissed. I guess I judged the mother there, but that doesn't answer your question.


I am about as judgmental as you can get, but like you, if the person is cool, then fine. However, when I see interesting, say, clothing choices, I also can not mask my horror. It just happens.

Blogger Lazy Lightning said...

Sounds classy... people drinking out of a keg before and during the ceremony (*judge judge judge*)

Blogger Tx Mom said...

I guess it is a little judgmental, but that is just human nature. You were not hurting anyone, so I don't think it is wrong. The bad kind of judgmental is when you judge someone's character based on something superficial. Just thinking that she made a bad fashion choice (which she definitely did), is just reality.

Blogger Tammy said...

Yea, I can't ever play poker. If I don't say whats on my mind (which I usally do) you can read it all over my face!

Blogger Lucky Lum said...

I think we all have particular things that we find offensive or are opinionated about.
We're all a bit judgemental.

Blogger Lori said...

Well if that'a Judgy then count me in. I also have an expressive face and Kim always makes comments about me looking at other women. I think it's just natural.

I'm certainly not making personal judgements about the person.

Blogger Norman said...

Hey! I'm a little late to this party (don't judge my tardiness!) but I'm thinking ... Isn't your husband judging YOU by calling YOU judgy?!! Throw him the book!


Blogger Lilah Mum said...

LOL!! I think being judgmental means that you say what you are thinking out loud. And making a face doesn't count. I do that too. It's human nature. I mean, if I do things one way, I must think it's the right way, and therefore another way is wrong, right?

Blogger Lisa said...

I am so with you on the pantyhose and open-toed shoes. Ewwww!

If you were deliberately mean to this woman, then that's one thing. Noticing something icky isn't a bad thing.

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