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Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Nature is a Ho
This morning, as my husband was leaving for work, I heard all sorts of squawking coming from the front yard. I peeked out the front door and saw two birds flying around our trees and making a huge racket. And when I say huge, I mean LOUD AS SHIT.

Exhibit A: Mama or Papa Bird:


I also saw my cat in the front flower bed looking quite scared and trying to make a break for it.
Exhibit B: Diabla (sorry, I couldn't get one of her in the front yard):


You see, a baby bird had fallen out of its warm, comfy nest and our darling cat was most likely about to eat it. My husband saved it just in time. He picked it up with a paper towel (even though you can touch baby birds, apparently birds don't have a very well developed sense of smell), put it back in the tree and headed off to work. I herded our cat inside and even though she was glad to be rid of the dive-bombing birds, she was meowing at the top of her lungs because she knew there was a baby bird outside ripe for the eatin'. I realize that's nature, but sometimes nature is a crack whore you'd rather not deal with.

To make a long story short, I glanced out the window and there lay the paper towel on the ground. Crappity crap. I went out there (in my piggy pajamas), put him/her in a bowl and put it back in the tree. (Sidenote: About this time, I looked up to see my Harley riding, braided hair, bandana wearing, ZZ Top looking neighbor looking at me. Um, yeah dude, don't judge. Pig pajamas are AWESOME especially when you're not wearing a bra. Whatever.) Anyway, the bird immediately flew/flopped out of the bowl and on to the ground. Shit. This time I put it in one of our flower pots so it would be closer to the ground...mind you, the parent birds were flying overhead and making a racket the entire time. They were NOT happy that someone was messing with their kid.

Exhibit C: CUTE ASS BABY BIRD:

OMG, it was breaking my heart even though, in this photo, it appears to be looking at me with total disdain, as if to say,"Feed me you crazy ass bitch. After all, it was YOUR cat that almost devoured me feet and all." It would just look up at me and throw its mouth open as if I had a stash of random worms and bugs to toss in the gaping, weird, rubber-band-looking mouth hole.

When I left for work, it was no where to be seen. I choose to believe he learned to fly and went back to the nest. Yes ma'am, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.



16 Comments:

Blogger Kami said...

Aw, what a sweet birdie. I bet your kitty just wanted to catch it and give it to you as a prizie.

Blogger pack of 2 said...

Aww..We also believe that is what happened.

My cat ate a bird when I was a kid & I was SOOOOOO PISSED OFF!
I igonred her for days...LOL...nature or not...It was not cool with me!

Shelly

Blogger Christy said...

lol, I like your captions....

I am a firm believer that the word "ass" should be used with adjectives more often...

Blogger aka_Meritt said...

I will also hope for the best...

We went through similar about 2 years ago with a baby bird. I assured my NatureGirl that the momma and daddy would help it....

.... the next morning we found bird parts under the tree. Whenever the subject comes up I still try to change it immediately - not because she's not alright with 'nature' happening - but sometimes I'M not.

Blogger Sheri & SuZan said...

What a cute birdie. I think my cat wouldn't know what to do with one, but you never know with that ole instinct.

Love the thought of the pig pj's.

Blogger Keheley Mom said...

How odd. Hope he did okay? My neighbor stopped by last night to let us know he found a dead bat in our driveway after we left for work yesturday. Knowing we have small children he wanted us to be alerted to this oddity. He called the city to retrive the bat since it is apparently not normal bat season.

Mother nature has an odd sense of humor.

Oh, he ABSO-Freaking-lutely just flew away! Birds and all matter of baby animals do not die and are not eaten. I won't hear of it. la-la-la-la-la I'm not listening.

The kitty just wanted to impress you with his skills.

Blogger Wendy Boucher said...

You had to post a picture, didn't you. Now I feel connected to that little birdie and its fate. I'm with A Taste That's Bitter, LA,LA,LA,LA,LA. Not listening.

Blogger wordgirl said...

Same thing happened to us not long ago. The damn bird just wouldn't stay put in the nest and the mother bird was going completely batshit. And our cats??? Waiting patiently.

Blogger suburban mom said...

cute bird and I love your template girlfriend!

Blogger Bradley Egel said...

Nappy Taffy -

I am a bird lover...that looks like a little american Robin baby :)

cute :)


Bradley
The Egel Nest

Blogger HollowSquirrel said...

Poor little birdie-- hope it's back home now (and by home I don't mean in your flower pot).

Your title says it best: Nature IS a ho! She's being a complete whorebag this week with the rain, cold weather and clouds-- miserable beyotcha!

Blogger Tammy said...

We had a cat that would find those baby birds and bring them in as presents for me. Thanks, cat. But no thanks. Keep that outside.

Why would its parents let it out of the nest knowing there was a cat around? Damn parents. Call bird CPS.

Blogger Carrie said...

Poor little birdy! Even in the bird world there's rebellious kids that are way too eager to leave the nest! I'm sure momma and papa will be able to get him back where he belongs.... :)

Blogger Lisa said...

Once I watched my dog chase a squirrel, she ended up breaking its back. And the scared squirrel was trying to run up the tree but its back legs were lifeless. I started crying because I felt horrible for the squirrel... It just kept falling down the tree dispite its efforts. I forgot my sweet little doggy was a predator...

So I know what you mean...

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